Monday Call Sheet: Satire That Shames Colbert, Stewart, & 'SNL'

JFK FILM PLANNED FOR 50TH ANNIVERSARY OF ASSASSINATION

Is anyone familiar with the novel? The concept sounds intriguing; another way to look at this tragic event but without using what we've all seen so many times before.

You have to wonder, though, if the Secret Service scandal that exploded over the weekend will have any effect on this. My guess is that the story behind this scandal is just getting started; that the upcoming hearings will pull a thread on a sweater about to be unraveled. You don't have that many guys allegedly mixed up in something like this without their being a culture behind it.

Hate to say that and hope to be wrong.   

MGM TITLES SET FOR YOUTUBE AND GOOGLE PLAY

This is pay-per-view. Three to four dollars for older titles like "Terminator" and "Rocky."

Except… You can pay double that and own the Blu-rays.

That said, this is a good thing because anything that moves the streaming ball is bad for bundled cable and therefore good for The America.  

 FIVE GUITARS STOLEN FROM TOM PETTY & THE HEARTBREAKERS

Tom Petty is like Eddie Money; one of those workmanlike performers who don’t get the glory a Springsteen or Bono does because they choose to keep their heads down and just do their jobs. But then you sit down and listen at their work and you're amazed at how many hits and great songs they've given us over the years.  

Over a decade ago, I saw Eddie Money in concert at some local fair. It cost me six bucks, he played for 90 minutes, and it was just one awesome tune after another. And except for his last few albums, I'm pretty sure Petty (who I've seen live over a half-dozen times) never wrote a bad song.

Maybe to get their due they need to go to the United Nations or trash Sarah Palin or something.

THE 15 BEST 'IN LIVING COLOR' SKETCHES

What a great, great sketch show this was. TRUE satire. These guys ripped everyone: gays, liberals, Al Sharpton, Tracy Chapman, fat people, ugly people, Caucasians, Republicans… Every Sunday night, you could actually sit back, relax, and laugh -- especially at yourself --  because you knew the cast was only interested in making you laugh.

Nothing was sacred. Nothing.

Could someone please Fed-X the first three seasons of this show to those speech-policing, sacred cow leftists Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert and the "SNL" crew? Not that it will enlighten them, but it might shame them a little.

LUKE ASKEW, CHARACTER ACTOR, IS DEAD AT 80

Wonderfully menacing, unpredictable character actor.

Check out his resume and then mourn. RIP.

BOND AND 78 YEAR-OLD 'M' HAVE ADVENTURES TOGETHER IN 'SKYFALL'

Nope, not a joke:

"They're very close, and they kind of basically go on an adventure together," he said. "She gets out in the field. Judi, she'll tell you, she usually films most of her stuff in the studio like this while we're all off in sort of some wonderful location, and she gets to go with us this time."

There was a Brosnan film where M was in the field. That didn’t work out so well.

WHY IS MORGAN SPURLOCK STILL WORKING?

Kyle Smith and I don’t agree on much in the world of Moviedom, but Morgan Spurlock's shocking lack of talent is common ground.

His debut, "Super Size Me," was a 14-minute news magazine segment stretched to feature length (and it was also stupid). Everything Spurlock's touched since has only been worse. He's like a cable access version of Michael Moore.

But we all know the answer. Spurlock's working because he's a leftist.

ROBIN GIBB WAS MAKING 'BUCKET LIST' BEFORE FALLING INTO COMA

What a terrible tragedy. The Bee Gees are responsible for all kinds of great music and helped to define an entire era. Moreover, this poor man is only 62.

Pray for a miracle, especially for his 92 year-old mother who is still alive and having to go through this.

BEN AFFLECK AND JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE TO CO-STAR IN GAMBLING PIC 'RUNNER RUNNER'

Am I the only one happy Ben Affleck's career is back on track? Always liked him and when he was in Bennifer purgatory, I rooted for him.

Good actor, great director.

Okay, harder question: Am I the only one who liked "Paycheck?"

Don't lie.

 ASHLEY JUDD SPEAKS UP FOR THE ELEPHANTS IN 'THE EYES OF THAILAND' TRAILER

Ashley Judd's seemingly unlimited supply of sanctimony is boring. There's nothing wrong with actors pursuing causes, but it seems to be all she does now.  

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QUOTE OF THE DAY

Vincent Gallo (Goodfellas, The Brown Bunny) is suing the city of Los Angeles to try to stop wasteful spending. He is at odds with the Arts District Business Improvement District, which uses taxpayer dollars to provide trash clean-up, security, and keeping the Arts District in Downtown Los Angeles looking good. The ADBID is currently failing and provides "no benefit," according to Gallo

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LAST NIGHT'S SCREENING

Yesterday was about as perfect a day as it gets. Finished my taxes to the tune of a sweet refund and then the wife and I hit the Greenway Trail for the first time since we've moved back. Before I lost my ever-loving mind and moved us to Los Angeles, we used to practically live at the Greenway, going at least five times a week, and it was something we talked about a lot while we were gone. Yes, there are walking trails in L.A., if you don't mind the heat and smog and crime and  traffic and parking and gas prices.

After we got home from our walk, the wife took a nap, I putzed around the house, and then we watched a couple "Mission: Impossible" movies and ate leftovers.

There is no amount of money or fame or prestige that could make life any better than that. My only ambition in life is to have more days like that.  

Oh, and we started out the day in church, where I got down on my knees and prayed to Jesus for my unlimited supply of blessings…and a fire engine.

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COMING SOON TO HOME VIDEO

DARK TIDE:  Prepare to swim with the sharks this spring as Lionsgate debuts Dark Tide on Blu-ray Disc, DVD and Digital Download.  Starring Academy Award winner Halle Berry (Best Actress in a Leading Role, Monster’s Ball, 2001) and Olivier Martinez (Unfaithful), the taut and suspenseful thriller follows a small boat expedition deep into the dangerous South African waters known as Shark Alley.  Directed by John Stockwell, (Into the Blue, Blue Crush, Turistas), from a screenplay by Amy Sorlie and Ronnie Christensen (story by Amy Sorlie), Dark Tide premieres on Blu-ray and DVD April 24, 2012.

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Daniel Radcliffe stars in THE WOMAN IN BLACK, the hit CBS Films ghost story that scared up more than $53 million at the box office and which will be released on Blu-ray and DVD by Sony Pictures Home Entertainment on May 22nd.  In the supernatural thriller, Radcliffe (Harry Potter) plays Arthur Kipps, a young lawyer who travels to a remote village where he discovers the vengeful ghost of a scorned woman is terrorizing the locals.  The film also stars Ciaran Hinds (Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy), Academy Award nominee Janet McTeer (2011, Supporting Actress, Albert Nobbs) and Liz White (Wild Bill).

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SCOTTDS' EPIC LINKTACULAR

CHRISTOPHER NOLAN EXPLAINS HIS DISINTEREST IN 3D AND LOVE OF FILM...

...WHILE THE CONSEQUENCES OF GOING ALL-DIGITAL ARE TROUBLING

BILL MURRAY: "GHOSTBUSTERS 3" IS 'A POSSIBILITY'

NEW PHOTO OF ZACHARY QUINTO AS SPOCK ON THE STAR TREK SET

15 CREEPY MOVIE CABINS YOU'D NEVER WANT TO VISIT

"THE AVENGERS" TRACKING TO OPEN NORTH OF $150 MILLION, STRONG AS "DARK KNIGHT"

THE BEST MOVIES THAT WERE NEVER MADE

BOND WEEK: FROM THE SET OF SKYFALL

THE ESSENTIALS: THE FILMS OF JOHN MILIUS

COOL INFOGRAPHIC: STEVEN SEAGAL MOVIE TITLES

WHY "DAWN OF THE DEAD" MIGHT BE THE GREATEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME

ALL 5 'STAR TREK' TV CAPTAINS APPEARING AT LONDON TREKKIE CONVENTION

FINAL "THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN" POSTER REVEALED

5 THINGS YOU MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT "SAY ANYTHING"

"WOLFMAN'S GOT NARDS!" CELEBRATING 25 YEARS OF "THE MONSTER SQUAD"

HAUNTING HOLOGRAM BRINGS TUPAC BACK TO LIFE

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CLASSIC PICK FOR TUESDAY, APRIL 16

Buy or rent "Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol." My review is here.

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Please send comments, suggestions and tips to jnolte@breitbart.com or Twitter @NolteNC.


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